Outlaws On Ice
by StarryTroubadour
Summary: It's winter in Sherwood forest. The cold weather is making all the outlaws feel miserable and so Robin decides to cheer them and take the gang ice-skating. At the Lake, hilarity ensues as they all attempt to skate and Robin enjoys showing off in front of Marian. When Gisborne and the Sheriff show up they try to put a stop to the fun but struggle to keep their balance on the ice.


Winter had come to Sherwood. The once earthy forest floor was frozen stone-hard and the gang awoke every morning to biting frost covering the undergrowth. Spirits were low. The outlaws felt the brunt of the harsh weather out in the forest where the limited shelter of their camp was insufficient to keep out the cold. The blankets felt too thin, dry firewood became more and more scarce and their food stores were getting lower by the day with Much serving up increasingly meagre stews to try and make the supplies stretch further. It was inevitable that these winter conditions began to provoke a series of petty fights amongst the gang. When little John took two of the big wool blankets, arguing he had the most body to keep warm, Allen tried to physically wrestle one off him and the pair had to be shoved apart before someone got hurt. Another night they were huddled close to the campfire and Djaq prodded at the flames with a stick, trying to coax the flames into giving off any more heat. Much berated the Saracen that she was going to put it out if she kept prodding, to which Djaq snapped back that he was being very critical considering he couldn't get the fire lit in the first place. This quickly escalated into a volley of grouchy shouts between them.

Robin was wondering what he could do to cheer them all up when he thought of the lake. It was out near Knighton. A small body of water just beyond the bounds of the forest that was still out of sight of the nearest houses and so felt private and tranquil. It was a spot Robin had visited often in the times before his outlaw existence. He had fond memories of skating there with Marian when they were younger, wrapped in furs and gliding across the thick ice on their bladed boots. He missed those simpler days. Back when he was still betrothed to Marian and they courted with the bold, sweet excitement of young love. Before he'd left her to journey to the holy lands. The lake would be frozen again.

* * *

"Hey, Will." He called to the young outlaw who sat alone against a tree, whittling new arrow shafts.

"I need your help with something."

They walked into the trees with spades and found the slight mound where they had buried animal bones several weeks ago. It had been over a month since they'd managed to get their hands on some beef, intercepting a private delivery to Nottingham castle. Will and Robin carried the old meat bones back to camp and spread them out by the fire. Together, they polished all twelve pieces of bone and then used the stones gathered for sharpening weapons to whet the bones into blades. Will had a wood drill in his small array of tools and carefully used it to make holes in the bone strips through which they looped straps to secure to everyone's boots. It took the best part of a day, with frequent breaks to rest their arms but by the following morning they had six sets of skates for the gang.

* * *

"Are those bones!?" Much's face was screwed into his usual expression of bewilderment.

"Nice work an' all lads, but if we need more weapons, surely it's easier just t' steal em?" Allen said

"I'm not threatening the Sheriff's men with bits of someone's femur!" Much cried "We aren't complete savages."

"These aren't weapons," Robin grinned at them all as he handed out the bone and leather contraptions. "These, my friends, are skates."

"You mean ice-skates?!" said John. They'd had to use the biggest pieces of bone to make his.

"Yes, John." said Robin "We are going skating!"

He got a range of responses. Allen hooted in delight, Will grinned broadly and John just shook his head. Much managed to look both relieved that Robin wasn't suggesting they go and stab the Nottingham guards with sharpened bones, and at the same time distressed at the prospect of his reckless master let loose on the ice. Djaq looked confused.

"What is this… skating?" She asked.

"People do it when the water freezes over." Will explained. "You strap blades to your boots and then you can slide across the ice on them. Have you never done it?"

"No." She said, still looking baffled. "You do this for fun?"

"Yes Djaq!" Robin was practically bouncing. "And I know the PERFECT spot to go ice-skating."

Much held up his skates uneasily, "Master, are you sure this is a good idea. Someone could see us."

Robin hoisted his quiver onto one shoulder, picked up his skates and bow and began walking out of camp.

"We'll be careful Much. Come ON! We could all do with some fun." As the others hurried after Robin, Much could do little except sigh and follow them.

* * *

Marian watched her breath billow like frosted smoke in front of her as she strapped on her skates. She didn't know what had made her think of the lake that particular morning. Maybe she was feeling nostalgic. She'd left her father bundled up in bed with the servants tending to him and taken to the frigid outdoors to clear her head. Skating had always made her feel lighter. She stood on the bank of the lake and then pushed off across the ice, enjoying the simple sound of her skates cutting through the otherwise tranquil air. It lasted all of five minutes. It seemed ludicrous that Robin would decide to come here on the same morning she had, but there he was, sauntering out of the trees with the bouncy gait he had possessed since adolescence. Marian sighed. And he'd brought the whole band of merry outlaws… brilliant.

* * *

Robin spotted her as he reached the opposite bank and looked even more delighted. So, she remembered their skating spot too. This was shaping up to be the best day they'd had all winter. Robin was pushing out across the lake before the others had managed to get even one skate strapped on.

"Marian, fancy seeing you here! Come for a skate have you?"

"Robin what are you doing here?" Marian said.

"Ice-skating of course." He grinned. "I don't think it's quite the right weather for swimming."

"You know what I mean" she sighed. "Isn't it a bit risky for you lot to be out here?"

"Ah how nice of you to worry about me, Marian. It's alright, there's no one around."

* * *

Soon they were all out on the lake and skating about, with varying skill. Little John was skirting cautiously around the edge of the water.

"You're doing great John. Come further out!" called Allen.

"No. I'm definitely fine here."

"You're not scared are you?" Allen said

"No." grunted John. "I just... Don't. Trust. Ice. No way am I falling through. I'm staying where it's shallow."

Little John stared suspiciously at the ice as he continued his shuffle around the lake edge. He still had his quarter staff in his hands and used it partially to give testing prods to new patches of ice to see if it would crack and shatter underneath him and partially to propel himself along like a human ice-punt.

* * *

Djaq was moving slowly away from the bank, trying hard to conceal how shaky she was. Will and Allen had both offered her a hand as she stepped unsteadily onto the ice but she waved them away stubbornly.

"No, I can do it." She said,

"Are you sure?" asked Will, gently. "It's very slippery, it takes practice to get the hang of moving your feet the right way."

"Thank you." She said, "I will do it without help. I'm sure I can work out how to do your skating." Djaq watched Allen's feet closely and then proceeded to slide her skates forward, holding out her arms to steady herself. Robin and Lady Marian looked as easy as if they were walking on solid ground instead of on frozen water. She was determined to stand as upright as they were.

"Hey, look at you go!" said Allen encouragingly. He was very stable on his skates and stayed a few strokes ahead of Djaq so she could follow his movements. Will skated just behind Djaq's left shoulder, unobtrusively waiting to steady her if she wobbled, smiling fondly at her small determined motions. Will's mother had been the one who taught him to skate. His younger brother Luke had learnt too but never loved it as much as Will and their mother had. He hadn't been out on the ice since she'd died. Will was glad Robin had suggested this, enjoying the openness and the bright sky that was so often blocked out by the canopy of Sherwood.

* * *

Robin, of course, was having a wonderful time showing off. He skated along backwards in front of Marian, two hands clasped gracefully behind his back, wearing a gloriously cocksure grin.

"Watch where you're going, idiot" she tried to hold back her helpless smile. Robin noticed the curve of her lips and, pushing slightly away, twisted into a ridiculous one-footed pirouette.

"You never can stop showing off, can you." Marian laughed.

"Nope!" shouted Robin gleefully as he glided out to the centre of the lake. "Isn't this FANTASTIC Much?"

Much was desperately trying to keep up with Robin. But whilst he was steady, he could not follow the absurdly fancy spins and swerves and looked supremely like he wished he was elsewhere.

"Yessss. Yes, Master. I know this is fun. It was a great idea and now we've been out here for long enough and we can go. Back to the forest. Now. Right?" Robin skated a circle around his friend, whooping and crowing like a child.

"Woooooooo! Come on Much, enjoy it!" he shrieked.

"Pleaseee Master." He was not enjoying it. Much skated after Robin with his arms outstretched in a futile attempt to halt him as he whizzed past, shrieking again. "Shhhh. Master PLEASE. Someone is going to hear us." Robin did a leap off one leg. "ROBIN!"

Robin grabbed Marian by the waist and pulled her in a graceful loop around the lake. Allen was cackling behind Much.

"You're not gonna shut him up, Much. Besides, who's gonna hear us out here?"

* * *

"WHO INDEED"

The Sheriff, Guy of Gisborne and two guards were approaching the furthest bank of the lake. Much had turned as white as the ice.

"Well, well Hood. I'd say you've found yourself in a spot of hot water. But, It's frozen." Vaisey shouted.

"What are you gonna do Sheriff!? Did you bring your skates?" Robin jeered.

"I'm not a peasant. Gisborne, GET HIM!" the Sheriff bellowed at Guy who had just finished lashing something to his black boots. Gisborne launched himself onto the lake. And immediately face-planted the ice.

"Aww you're like a new-born deer Gisborne." Robin said. "You can do it, use your legs."

Gisborne roared as he pushed himself up and tried again to skate forwards. He got two steps. Then his feet swept out from under him and his butt hit the ground hard.

"You're pathetic, Gisborne!" Shrieked Vaisey. "Get up, man." The two Nottingham guards had also stepped onto the frozen water.

"Robin, please can we GO now!" Much cried.

"Ah, but Gisborne is still getting the hang of it. We can't miss this." Robin was actually playing for time. At the arrival of the Sheriff's posse, John had put his foot through the ice and was now thigh deep in frosty water. Allen was trying to drag him out but kept getting distracted laughing at Gisborne's flailing limbs. Djaq had turned around too fast, lost all balance and also fell over. The outlaws were all over the place and Marian was still with them.

Back on his feet, Gisborne began a bent-kneed shuffle across the ice. He was moving his feet ridiculously fast and yet managed to edge only a couple of inches forward.

"Come HERE Hood!" He bellowed.

"You're a natural Gisborne!" Robin did a backwards slalom around the red-faced man.

"GISBORNE! I want him to freeze in my dungeon, not out here." Vaisey was clinging to the chain-mailed backs of the two guards with straight arms, being towed across the ice. "Pull faster you two! You're the worst sled dogs ever."

Will Scarlett had skated smoothly over to Djaq, placed a hand firmly under each armpit and scooped her up onto her feet. Still steadying her by the waist, he quickly skated her to the bank. Allen was still cackling.

"Hahahaha. John! John, stop moving. Hahaha, look at him, Guy can't stand up."

"Allen, I can't stand up either! My leg is going to freeze off." moaned Little John.

"Hahaha...Will...haha. Will, help me with John."

Together Will and Allen dragged John out of the water, back onto the bank. Robin was twirling around just out of Gisborne's reach. Between Robin's infuriating arrogance and Vaisey screaming at him, Guy's complexion was growing steadily redder. He threw himself at the leaping outlaw and fell over again. The Sheriff's tow-guards were getting closer.

"Robin! Time to go. Please." Much grabbed Robin's sleeve and desperately yanked him away from Guy. The gang had their skates off and had weapons pointed at the flailing enemies.

"This has been wonderful, Gisborne. Keep practising and maybe you can take three steps together next time." Robin sped away. As he skated he shot an arrow between Gisborne's feet, watched him topple over again and gave a little bow to Marian who watched from the bank. The gang headed back into Sherwood forest, leaving four men floundering on a frozen lake, their spirits higher than they'd been for weeks that winter.


End file.
